How to help family and friends with depression. Realize that isolation is often a symptom of depression. Don’t let a loved one isolate him or herself. You may need to push them. Let them know that you understand that they may feel like they want to be alone, but don’t take no for an answer. Tell them that it would make you feel better to talk to them and go visit. Depressed people need connection. Don’t worry about being overbearing, they really need you to bring them back into having social connections. Face-to-face conversations are best, but phone calls work too. Be persistant, because the depressed person may not reach out. Don’t distance yourself from a depressed loved one. Your loved one may need you to be their advocate. You are the one that probably knows your loved one best and spend the most time with them. They may only be seeing a mental health professional about an hour a week. If you see that they are getting worse with treatment, please work with them and the mental health professional to try to find some other solutions. Some medications work well for some people and they can make other people much worse. It may take 3 weeks or so for the medications to start to help, but if they are continuing to get worse after that point, please be proactive and get second and third opinions if needed. Recognize your own limitations and feelings. Remind your depressed loved on of their good qualities This was something that, in retrospect, was very helpful for me. I remember when I was talking to one of my best friends and work colleagues in the depths of my depression, and I asked her if she could remind me what I was good at, because I felt worthless. She said I was kind and nurturing and compassionate. She also said I was creative. I could not believe this, but kept trying to repeat it in my mind. I also asked my husband why he loved me and married me. He said that I was beautiful,funny, silly, and thought of interesting and different ways to view and approach life and that I had been a guide and compass in our marriage. While I didn’t completely believe my friend and my husband, these things did resonate somewhere deep inside and gave me some hope that I might go back to being that person that they described. Another thing that may help is to look at photos and videos of your loved one from times when they were happy. I did this and it made me cry, but it also gave me hope that if I was once a happy, fulfilled person, I could be again someday. |